Saturday, April 16, 2011

I got asked the other day why I was doing this to myself
What was I getting out of it
Was it really even for me or was it for a boy
so almost automatically I replied with I want to feel good about me this defiantly has nothing to do with anyone else
but I mean really?
come on
When I think about it I don't dress for me
I don't do my hair for me
I don't paint my face for me
I do it all for other people because I want to be liked and excepted
I want people to find me beautiful
If that were false I'd run around with nothing on and I'd eat all the yummy fat foods I wouldn't put myself through painful workouts and I wouldn't try so fucking hard to get my knee back to workout safe shape
but unfortunately this has everything to do with everything else and little to do with me so I'll keep working until I pass out and can't breathe and then maybe everyone will see how pretty I can be

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